The last day of June in my mountain village in Europe. I’ve lived here for nearly eight months — a new record for me given I usually move countries every six months.
It’s 80 degrees out (sorry, I’m too lazy to convert to Celsius) — a rare occurrence. It won’t rain tomorrow — a first in many a moon. So I toss all the laundry I’ve been saving up for the occasion into the washer. Yes, it’ll dry and contain less mold-smell if only the humidity reads less than 100%.
Trotting up the cobblestone paths with my dog in tow. Or rather, I am in tow of my over-excited bored border collie. He scrambles up the steep neighborhood paths, winding his way towardshis favorite park where he knows he’ll always find some dog friends. This time, I brought his chuck-it, so I stand in the small spot of shade, ruing having forgotten sun screen once again, while Chaplin chases the ball, surprising me with his speed and dexterity. Should’ve signed him up for dog agility courses. Damn, that dog’s got talent.
My phone buzzes. My class mate from Mexico has sent me another rock song to ponder. Says it reminds him of me. Oh my, this reminds him of me? Gee, that’s a bit worrisome. I must seem as crazy as I feel myself to be. No need to see the song now, just read on, dearie.
I squish the ball into the chuck-it again for the last throw. I bring me arm back and toss — but it hits the branches of the yew that towers above us and falls with an unsatisfying bounce as Chaplin races into the distance. I run to pick it up. Okay, this is the last throw. Chaplin turns to see me throw it just in time. He watches it arc towards him, dropping out of the sky, he takes a few paw steps back, opens his mouth, and swoop — he’s caught it mid-air! Much more satisfying. Now I’m ready to go home. Not used to the sun, I’m going to get sun burnt in twenty minutes. That’s Norway for you, where it’s sunny one week a year.
***
Man, I just want to accept that I’ll be pretty busy my whole life. I can’t escape that. If I want to take things out of my schedule and do less in order to not burn out, then do it, but if I can’t or won’t then just accept that and do what I need to do, do the things. Because being anxious that I can’t relax isn’t going to help me relax…. Being anxious that I never have time will rob me of the time I do have to relax and do self care and be present.
So I remember hearing about transitions. I should be more mindful when I transition between tasks, and be really present and notice things. Take a few breaths between them. I think this was in the Sam Harris Waking Up meditation daily thingy. Yea.
Okay, so I have some things I want to do tomorrow that I wrote down. I’ll write it better so I don’t get lost. But for now, I’m just gonna relax-read, then sleep. Toodles. ❤
